Mindful Monday: Try a Little Tenderness
“Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.” John Lennon
Don’t we know it.
It’s been over a year since the pandemic began. We didn’t see this coming, did we?
Just when we got a little taste of freedom, we find ourselves in lockdown number three on Easter weekend.
How are you doing?
I mean, how are you really doing?
Perhaps you’re doing well. Maybe your life hasn’t been impacted too much by the pandemic, even brought positives into your life.
Maybe you have been deeply impacted by the virus. You find yourself overwhelmed with fear or anxiety, struggling with your health, finances, relationships, and it’s really hard.
Wherever you find yourself, I send you my love.
And, wherever we are doesn’t mean we are better than or less than.
Our feelings are our feelings.
Our experience is our experience.
The question is, can we allow ourselves and others to feel what we are feeling, while letting go the judgments or comparisons?
I am connecting with so many people who are experiencing anxiety, feeling isolated, fearful, lost, lack of control, missing their family and friends, worried about the virus, uninspired, overwhelmed, unsafe, disconnected to who they are.
At the same time, their Inner Critic is saying things like,
‘What’s wrong with you?’
‘You shouldn’t be feeling this way.’
‘Other people aren’t feeling like this.’
‘Get over it.’
I wonder…what’s more painful? Feeling our feelings or criticizing ourselves for having the feelings?
My personal experience is self-criticism causes more suffering than the feeling itself.
We are not wrong to feel feelings.
We are human to feel feelings.
What I’ve witnessed time and time again is when someone is given the space to share their feelings in a safe and nonjudgmental space healing happens.
When our thoughts and feelings are explored with compassion and met with understanding there is resolve and clarity. We feel whole, grounded and more connected to who we are.
Last Thursday I was preparing for a workshop and I pulled a card from the deck to receive the message for the group.
The card I pulled was Tenderness. On the back the message was…
‘Speak gently to yourself. Cherish the child within’.
As I read the card it spoke to me. I felt my body soften and I thought to myself, it’s just what I needed to hear.
When I shared it with the group that evening, it was clear it’s what we all needed to hear. So, tenderness led the evening.
Then on Friday, I went for a walk in Warbler woods, and who did I meet but this beautiful deer. She looked me right in the eyes as I talked to her. She didn’t run away. She was the epitome of tenderness.
In that moment I received a message to ‘Go slow, be patient and trust.’
I listened.
As I continued, my movement was slower and more deliberate, my breath was deeper, and everything felt more alive. What a gift.
Tenderness asks us to be gentle and trust. It takes strength and courage to be in a place of discomfort or not knowing. This is where transformation lies.
Sometimes we think we need to ‘get over it’ and forge ahead.
But do we?
What if, we were gentle and tender with ourselves like we would be a child?
Listen to our inner voice.
Reach out for help if we need it.
Offer support when we feel called to.
Now more than ever we need to share our truth and support each other with compassion and tenderness.
Sometimes we can work through our emotions and hardship our own. Sometimes we need the help others.
If you’re finding you are stuck, know that help is available to you. It is a strength to ask for help not a weakness.
Please know I am here for you. I offer private sessions and virtual workshops and courses that provide a safe, supported environment for feeling, healing, and growth.
With loving kindness,
Diane