Last week I did a Facebook Live and the topic was the power of mindfulness and vulnerability. If you didn’t get to see it, I shared with the audience that I have been feeling vulnerable lately. I’ve been going through a lot of growth and as exciting as this is, there is also a sense of stepping into the unknown which can feel unsettling at times.
There was a part of me that just wanted to cancel doing the Facebook Live. My mind had a convincing story that I wasn’t feeling the way I should be feeling and it wouldn’t matter if I cancelled because it was free and no one had to sign up.
But there was another part of me that wanted to do it no matter what and it was that part that won. I have made an agreement with myself to uphold my commitments and my word. This is part of my core values. So I did and it felt really good. For me it builds character.
A lot of time we choose to ignore or avoid how we are feeling. There is a belief, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” So we judge it or resist it. We want to be feeling different from how we are feeling.
When we resist our reality we stay stuck in the very thing that we are trying to get out of.
If we push the feeling down it may be gone momentarily but it isn’t gone for good. It is simply lying dormant and waiting for another opportune time to resurface.
The truth is that vulnerability is not a weakness. It is a strength. It takes courage and I know for me it is not always easy; being real, letting go of the armour. It can be scary! When we are authentic or vulnerable we are taking a risk because we don’t know how people are going to respond or react.
But when we harness the courage to stand in our truth, no matter what, we access an incredible depth of strength and power within. I call it my spiritual warrior.
For most of my life, I was constantly on the run from feeling what I was feeling. I kept really busy thinking I could avoid what was there. I was in survival mode and I was doing what I thought was best at the time. But when I chose to surrender, to be present with my feelings and accept myself, no matter what that looked like, I could be free.
As Brene Brown says, “I am perfectly imperfect.”
Trying to present ourselves as being perfect and never wanting to be present with our feelings comes at a cost – emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.
We have a choice. Do we step into the unknown and take the risk? Or do we close the door to vulnerability to be safe? Maybe we aren’t ready to go there. It’s not the right time.
Rest assured there will be another opportunity – and when we are ready it is our ticket to freedom.