As humans we will experience a full gamut of emotions - one of them being fear.
When we are afraid we feel a sensation in our body. The default reaction is usually to push the fear away or push it down. We want it to be gone. But the more we push it down or try to get rid of it, the longer it will stay.
I am no stranger to fear. It was in the driver's seat for a long time. Today fear can still show up, but it no longer defines or controls me. I now have the tools to 'be' with it.
Fear is not the problem. It’s when we constantly judge it or push it away that it creates a monster. It gives fear more power. If we’re constantly focused on the ‘problem’ (fear) it becomes our reality and we stay stuck in a vicious cycle.
The key to being free is letting go of being afraid of fear or the aversion and judgment of the fear. Can we look at fear in the eyes? Try to understand it. Have compassion for it. Because that is what fear needs and wants, love and compassion - the last thing it needs is judgment.
I often ask my clients to picture a child standing in front of them and this child is afraid. I ask “What would you say to this child?” Their reply is usually, “Well I would give them a hug and tell them it’s going to be ok. I love them.” Yes –you love them.
But what do we do with ourselves when we feel afraid? Do we give ourselves a hug and show love and compassion? No, we usually judge ourselves and the fear – which only perpetuates the ‘problem’. Our decisions then become based on fear rather than love.
How can we change this?
Mindfulness is a way of creating more space between us and the fear. You start to become the observer of the thoughts and feelings you have around the fear rather than being the fear.
Instead of saying “I am fearful.” You can say “I am experiencing fear.” When we reframe it like this, it changes things. The fear no longer defines us, it becomes an experience moving through us.
Get to know why you do what you do.
Are you decisions based on love or fear?
1. Am I afraid of failure? Is this stopping me from living my life fully?
2. Am I staying in a job because I'm afraid that I can't find anything else or because I love it and find it very rewarding?
3. Am I in a relationship because I am afraid of being alone or because I love my partner?
4. Am I eating well and exercising to take care and love my body or because I am afraid of getting old and sick?
Fear is limiting and will keep us stuck. Love is expansive with unlimited possibilities.
Remember friends, mindfulness is not focused on feeling happiness 24/7. It is about finding acceptance in the moment. Being present with our reality rather than fighting or resisting it. Is it always easy? No. Is it possible? Yes.
When we have the courage to practice this way of being in the world we are free.
The question...Can we be gentle and compassionate with ourselves as we go through the ups and downs and highs and lows of life?
P.S. Are you feeling stuck and controlled by fear? Is it stopping you from living the life you want to live? Contact me about my Private Coaching Program called 'Transforming Your Life From The Inside-Out'. I am accepting 8 new clients. It could be you.