Friends, last week I spoke with you about how much my own inner peace means to me, and the importance of letting things go that get in the way of that peace.
The truth is, there are many culprits in our day-to-day lives that can get in the way of that inner peace. A big one?
Taking things personally.
I have a question for you…
How many times a week (or a day for that matter) do you take things personally?
Someone (your partner, friend, child, co-worker, even a stranger) says something that rubs you the wrong way or upsets you and for some reason, you can’t seem to let it go.
When someone upsets us, our ego mind (an untrained mind) will instantly blame that person and point the finger. The ego will also hang onto, ruminate, and want revenge. Stew about it.
Our aware mind (which is developed with a mindfulness practice) will want to be curious, go inward and take time to reflect, and at some point, let it go. Knowing that if we choose to hang onto it, we are letting this take our peace away. And it just isn’t worth it.
Being in relationships with others is a beautiful thing. It can also be challenging. Sharing our lives with others presents lots of opportunity to be mindful, go inward, and grow. But only if we’re willing to put in the work.
We can’t control what other people do.
We can’t change other people.
The only thing we have control over is how we RESPOND, and this is the premise of a mindfulness practice. Living in the moment with awareness nonjudgementally.
Here’s an example that really stands out for me…
One day I was checking out at the cash and I said to the cashier, in a really cheery voice, “How are you today? I really like your top. It looks so nice on you.” She completely ignored what I said, didn’t look at me, was very rude, and went on to serve the next customer in line.
Instantly my mind starting saying, “How rude! Who does she think she is? What horrible manners." The ego was in full swing!
Then as I left the store another voice in my head came forth saying, “Hey, wait a minute. You have no idea what this woman is going through right now. Maybe she is suffering in some way.”
In that moment I let the negativity go, and I sent her a blessing "May You Find Peace" and went on my way. It so felt good and was a great learning lesson.
Can I be kind and give a compliment just because, without expecting the other person to reciprocate? Not expecting her to be any other way than she was.
We never know someone’s story. What they are going through with their health, relationship, work, children, finances, and we can make a lot of assumptions.
If I had chosen to stew over this, I’d be letting her take my peace away; letting her live rent free in my head. But I chose the alternative. I value my Inner Peace, so I protect it.
This is living life from the inside-out.
This is also self-love and self-care. It’s empowering, not allowing someone else to take my peace away.
This week be curious and notice if there are times when you take something personally.
If you notice you are…
Stop.
How does it feel?
What are you thinking?
Maybe you need to say something and maybe you don’t.
I find it’s always a good idea to say something when I am grounded and clear and not in a reactive state where I might say something that I will regret later.
In each moment there is always an opportunity to become more aware, learn, grow, be curious. It’s not about being perfect.
It’s about living life and learning along the way.
Wishing you a great week ahead!
Diane